iPod

My iPod, Alphonse, is broken. It’s not the kind of broken where it’s like, “Oh, oops, I dropped it and then accidently stepped on it and then my one friend stepped on it too and accidently kicked it into the street where it got run over by a sixteen-wheeler and several mini-vans and also a guy on a unicycle.”

It’s the kind of broken that’s internal. He keeps telling me that he needs to charge, and I keep trying, but he just won’t charge. It’s extremely distressing.

                            

(Also, this is what happens when I try to draw on MS Paint with a laptop mouse pad.)

It’s like my iPod is telling me that I have not been appreciate enough of it, and is therefore punishing me by not charging. This hurts my feelings, because we have been through a lot together.

                                         

 My iPod knows what kind of music I like and can cheer me up when I’m feeling sad. In a way, he’s sort of like my boyfriend. I have just thought of this. What if Alphonse has realized his feelings for me are not mutual and has now decided to commit suicide?

It’s like he’s saying this:

But what he really means is this:

Frankly, I am at a loss of what to do. I love my iPod, but in a ‘you-provide-me-with-awesome-music-and-that-makes-me-happy-so-I-love-you’ sort of way. How do I tell my iPod that I’ve pretty much just been using him these last three years?

In any case, I hope my iPod will somehow miraculously recover, because the walk to campus is just not the same without him.